By Mila Koljensic
It is extremely important to acknowledge that a0buse is not normal nor acceptable in a healthy relationship. The reason why some women continue to carry on with an abusive spouse varies from person to person. Let’s have a look at some of the most common reasons.
They hope the abuser will change someday.
Some abusers use a caring and loving approach after every abusive episode to appease the victim. It is like dangling a carrot before women that gives them false hope that the abuser will love them if they change their behavior. Also, if these women have invested a lot of time and effort in the relationship, they live in the hope that eventually, all the pain will be worth the probable chance at happiness.
Some women are afraid of their abuser.
Some women find themselves in toxic relationships where the abuser uses a fear-mongering attitude to keep them under control. The abuser threatens to harm the victim, their children, or themselves. In cases where the victim is dependent on them, they threaten to annul the financial support. They ensure that the consequence of leaving becomes more scary and daunting than the experience of abuse. It leaves the women with no option but to put up with abuse.
They blame themselves for everything.
After facing abuse, victims often start doubting themselves. It happens when their spouse blames them for their bad behavior. They start believing that they must have done something wrong that compelled the abuser to subject them to such intimidatory actions. They may recognize the maltreatment of the abuser, but their guilt-ridden mind convinces them to analyze the misbehavior from the abuser’s perspective.
Women want to protect their children.
Some women endure years of physical and mental abuse for the sake of their children. They are ready to face the hardships without protesting to protect their little ones, as they do not want their children to grow up in broken families. Therefore, they go through harsh scenarios to show they live in a normal environment.
Women feel embarrassed to admit the truth.
Some women keep silent through abuse because they feel embarrassed to share the truth with anyone. They fear being judged and even blamed for their partner’s actions. They may also despise the pity that people show when learning the truth. They feel remaining silent is better than having people giving you unwarranted advice, and so they remain in an abusive relationship.
They feel they can save their partner.
Some women feel they know and understand the reason behind their partner’s abusive behavior. They carry on, thinking and hoping they will rescue their partner from trouble. She believes that loyalty and love can melt the abuser’s heart and reform as a person.
If a woman has grown up seeing men abuse women without consequence, she may believe it is normal behavior. She might even be in denial and may not accept that the physical or emotional trauma she experiences is abuse. She may even assume abuse is a part of a healthy and normal relationship.
If you know someone who is being abused – give them unconditional support to help them leave the abuser safely. If you are the one experiencing abuse, don’t feel ashamed to reach out to relevant services. If you experienced abuse before, please share your story to empower others who are still suffering and need your help.